Oh no Mercedes; you've stopped selling cars

 Was just reading the blurb on the release of the new Mercedes E-Class.  Reams of blurb covering the new dash, the materials used in the cabin, the ability to lock/unlock the car with your phone, the apps that you can install and run on the main screen such as Zoom (is this a good idea in a car ???), automated comfort etc etc etc.  Twenty Seven articles about how proud they are of this new vehicle and all the great things it does.

However, try to find the specifications on the engines, the performance, the handling ... they're there but at the very end and without any detail whatsoever.

This is the car as consumer appliance not as a vehicle.  I want to buy a car that performs in a certain way and, only if that suits, will I then consider if the cabin is a nice place to be and there are enough idiot gadgets to play with.  The primary functions of a car are to move, to go around bends, to accelerate and to brake.

Perhaps I've become a dinosaur, perhaps that is what the modern motorist cares about.  The car as little more than a device such as a washing machine, dishwasher or games console aimed at transporting you from point A to B with minimal involvement or passion.  However, not me, I used to like Mercedes and had a couple of their AMG models; I doubt I'll buy any more if this is the direction of travel.

What's happened to Swiss Efficiency ?

 A tale of (first world) woe.

It seems, in one sense, incredibly crass to be complaining about flights and holidays whilst people are starving, dying, suffering and struggling to pay bills.  I nearly didn't write this post.

At the same time, the commercial world does carry on and it also seems unfair to not call out poor or incompetent service when we've paid.

So, here goes ...

For our family holiday I asked my daughter to book the flights for herself, her brother and her cousin.  She did so but unfortunately booked the flight for her cousin in her nickname, rather than her full name.

So, come the day of travel Swiss Airlines at LHR refused her carriage ... despite the fact that the signature in her passport is actually clearly legible and written is her nickname.

So, seems somewhat over-officious given that she could be clearly identified and the airline staff admitted it was their judgement call to make.  However, can't really complain too much since those are the rules.  My daughter therefore paid for a single ticket to Zurich for her cousin and she flew.

However, now starts the craziness.

Clearly, the name needed to be changed for the return leg of the flight or the same problem would recur.

So, we called Swiss Service Centre and asked to change the name.  First response was fine and they asked us to email a copy of her passport which we did.

However, this is when the kafka-esque sequence started.

We received an email stating that she was a 'no show' as she hadn't flown the first leg of the flight so they couldn't change the name and the second leg was no longer available.  We responded, of course, that this was because Swiss had denied carriage and that we'd bought ANOTHER ticket on the same flight for her.

The call centre (in English, not German - wonder if the German would have been better) seemed completely unable to deal with the situation.  After several hours on the phone at which we'd get frustratingly close to a solution we'd end up back in the classic Catch-22 situation.

Katie (her nickname) hadn't flown the first leg of the originally booked ticket.  Therefore they said they needed to turn the return into a single leg flight.  However, they could only do this with the originally booked name, not the correct full passport name.  We said, OK, let's change the name first ... but then they said that, as she hadn't flown the first leg, no changes could be made now.

Finally, after more hours on the phone and my chatting with their support team on Twitter, we managed to get them to split the booking and create a new one ... but still in the nickname.

Now, the final twist; they said that the name change to the full name was 'in progress' but nothing came.  We followed up with a further email including the passport again to change the 'new' booking.  But, now, we are suddenly told that, despite us asking for the name change a week ago, it's now too late to make a change and they're claiming that because it's the second leg of the flight it, again, can't be changed.  We point out that it's no longer the second leg as it's a new booking for a single leg.  No response.

At this point, we give up and hope that the staff at Zurich airport might be more competent.  Fortunately, yes, they are and were able to resolve the issue in 15 minutes and Katie, now correctly registered as Katherine, is able to fly home with her cousins.

However, the ineptitude of the phone service centre and whoever answers emails/tweets caused us hours of hassle and really impacted the holiday.  We were kept on hold, we were told contradictory stories and, on three occasions, the phone just went dead.  We were promised a call back as 'a supervisor needed to authorise the change' in fifteen minutes.  Three hours later we'd received no call and when we called again they had 'lost' the booking and claimed that Katie had never been on it !

What came across was that none of the (English speaking) service centre staff knew what they were doing and they simply couldn't deal with the situation.  And, more worryingly, instead of seeking senior support they made excuses, claims that were clearly untrue and just tried to get us to go away without thinking of the stress all of this was creating for a 19 year old student.

So, Swiss Airlines, please provide better training or more support to your Service Centre staff so that they can deal with what should be relatively trivial matters without taking hours and stressing customers unnecessarily.

Grrrrrrr ....

No, the world is not "F***ed"

I've been reading a few articles recently with predictably dire warnings about the economic impact of the Corona shutdown.

Now, of course, I'm not making light of the situation; businesses will fail, people will lose jobs and government and personal debt will soar.  There will be a lot of short-term pain.

However, where this differs from, for example, the financial crisis of 2008 which was precipitated by the Sub-prime Mortgage situation and the collateralisation of risk - which turned out to be nothing of the kind - is that this is not an intrinsic economic failure.  The 2008 financial crisis was caused by failures in the financial system; abuse, ignorance, greed and incompetence.  Cleaning up that mess was long and protracted; for a long time, most of the banks viewed others' assets as near worthless which, in turn, meant that all the CDOs were, by implication, also near worthless.  Governments had to act to shore up the Financial System itself.

The Corona-precipitated financial crisis is severe but it's also external.  What it highlights is the speed with which value can dissipate.  What's a jet airliner worth when you can't fly it ?  What's a hotel worth when no guests are allowed to check in ?  Clearly, a lot less that before.  However, once you can fly them and welcome back guests ... much of the value returns very quickly.  The issue with the 2008 financial crisis was that we were forced, quite suddenly, to realise that the underlying assets were worthless and the value was never going to return.  And this, I think, is reason to conclude that whilst there will be a severe impact from Covid-19 in the short-term the world's economy will return a lot faster than the doom-mongers predict.  We'll see in due course ...

Corona Musings

I've had it; my Covid diary

So, first things first, I've had it and recovered.  I can't say that with absolute certainty since I wasn't tested but I was remotely diagnosed by a doctor who said that, with the symptoms I was exhibiting, I was 99% likely.

It started with a temperature (and chills), aching muscles and debilitating tiredness which lasted for about 48 hours.  I woke up in the middle of the night to feel that the fever had abated and was, prematurely as it turned out, then feeling grateful that it was over.

About ten hours later the dry cough started.  And continued.  And continued.  I reached the point, as others have also reported, of starting to dry retch simply down to the continual cough.  That lasted for about three days.  Fortunately, whilst my chest felt tight (and very sore from the coughing) I never reached the point of feeling unable to breathe.  Eventually, the cough started to abate and over the next couple of days I recovered quite quickly.

However, I then discovered that I was still very weak and even a walk up a couple of flights of stairs would leave me feeling tired.  Fortunately, now, two weeks later I'm back on my bike and exercising and feeling fine.  So, very thankful that it wasn't worse and happy to be recovered and, hopefully for a while at least, immune.

In summary, I think I had nearly all the symptoms except the severe headaches and diarrhoea but fortunately not so severely.  The aching and the coughing were probably the worst symptoms and made me unable to sleep and exhausted.

Wishing everyone else either a complete avoidance of the unpleasant bug or a swift recovery and mild symptoms.

Name Change ?

So, I've had the online avatar Blackblade for a long time now.

The origins, as you can probably guess from the picture, are motorbike related.  One of the very first forums I joined was all about bikes and, at the time, I was riding a black Honda Fireblade.  Hence Blackblade.

Since that time I've had many bikes ... all Fireblades ... and all with sufficient noir in their colour schemes to just about qualify as Blackblades.

However, now, I've gone and done something unthinkable.  After over 25 years of a series of Fireblades I've bought a Ducati.

Now, this is a wonderful thing.  The new bike is astounding; ridiculously powerful (definitely track only for any attempt at exploiting its capabilities), amazing suspension, brakes that pop your eyeballs and it looks spectacular .... in RED !

So, can I keep Blackblade or do I need to change ?

Guess who's back ?

Time certainly flies.

Sitting at my desk, wondering when I last wrote a blog post ... and realised that it was years ago !

Why haven't I written anything in the interim ?

Well, I guess life gets in the way and laziness does the rest.

Let's see if I can get the next one out in less than a year !

An atypical letter to my son's school

Dear Mrs Teacher,

I write on a very serious matter regarding my son, David.  He appears to have contracted the highly debilitating condition known as HARS (Homework Allergic Reaction Syndrome).  This condition manifests itself, as I’m sure you’re aware, in extreme behaviours when presented with homework.  David is willing to do almost anything to avoid doing homework; with the exception of other work I have noticed – I kindly offered to write him a note if he agreed to tidy up the garden but this treatment programme did not appeal and was unsuccessful (and the garden is still a mess).

David is, as you know, a very lazy hard-working boy so I, naturally, believe his statements regarding the palpitations, sweaty palms and extreme psychic shock that he suffers when presented with homework.  I have, indeed, observed the local contact dermatitis which makes him unable to sit still whilst working on his homework.

I would therefore request that you assist me in employing a highly intensive form of aversion therapy; I would like you to make sure that he is completely overwhelmed with homework, every day.  Our counsellor (also known as his Mum) thinks that five hours per day should be sufficient to make the treatment effective.

Yours sincerely,

David’s Dad

Swiftcover Dishonourable

Am, right now, burning with indignation. 

After five years with Swiftcover, during which I have paid thousands in premiums and never claimed for a single thing, I finally had cause to require insurance.

My car was stolen just before Christmas ... the house broken into to secure the car keys ... and the car then driven away.

Hiscox and Barclays, the two companies covering damage to the house and contents, were fantastic.  Helpful, reassuring and they got things fixed fast and efficiently.  I was impressed and it certainly made a stressful situation much easier.

Swiftcover, on the other hand, referred me to a company called Sims Claims who, it now appears, fulfill the function of trying to help Swiftcover avoid paying out by any means.

Their story has changed repeatedly, but always with the aim of trying to manipulate different clauses of the contract to try and reject the claim.  I'm referring them to the Financial Services Ombudsman and will blog on further developments as they occur.

However, I still can't really believe that a major insurer (they are part of the AXA group) would think this an appropriate way to behave.  No one wants to pay out money, of course, but the paroxysms and contortions they have employed to try and evade their liability reminds me of the very worst of shyster lawyers.  If it was on TV people would think it too incredible.

I am, unfortunately, stuck with them since I have a protected No Claims Bonus and don't think I can migrate this to another insurer having now made a claim.  However, failing this, I would be cancelling and off somewhere else.  I would strongly recommend anyone NOT to deal with Swiftcover.  The online service and ease of use is good; but what use is that if they won't actually pay out when you need them ??  Beware !!!

Guess who's back

The return of the King

It has been a long, long time since I updated this Blog.  I realised this when I suggested to someone else that they should setup a blog and they asked me whether I had one.  "Yes", I responded and then wondered when I had last updated it.  Suffice to say that it took me more than a little time to find my password and to actually get back in but, anyway, here I am with the strong intention to write some more ... in a while.  Procrastination is such an under-rated skill isn't it ?

Back soon (ish)

Matt.